Of course when you reach the anger stage you begin to wonder what sort of revenge is possible against a sociopath and you begin to realize that almost everything you can think of would provide him with an invaluable source of narcissistic supply.
I was thinking a lot about whether anything could cause my ex pain and I finally settled on his disfigurement. After all what else but his own inability to gather NS could cause him any more pain than he's already in.
I discussed these feeling with my closest friend and he reminded me of a scene from the film "Princess Bride" (1987) in which the hero (Westly) is confronting his enemy (Prince Humperdinck - who is clearly a sociopath) and says to him,
Westly: "To the pain," means the first thing you lose will be your feet below the ankles, then your hands at the wrists, next your nose.
Prince Humperdinck: And, then my tongue I suppose. I killed you too quickly the last time; a mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.
Westley: I wasn't finished. The next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by the right . .
Prince Humperdinck: And, then my ears, I understand. Let's get on with it.
Westley: Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish, every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out: "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain"means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery, forever.
Love and hugs, Laura
July 10, 2009
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5 comments:
Laura, I can't believe I just found you - I was at the lowest point imaginable when I just found you. I am reading every article here - which will keep me busy for a while, but that's good! I have also found lovefraud... but there just aren't enough people that understand. I LOVE that you understand!
I am not a big believer in revenge but exposure? yes:
http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/2008/03/exposure-is-it-intervention-or-revenge.html
Please be very careful with LoveFraud... I was sent this recently and found it to be true:
http://www.enpsychopedia.org/index.php/Donna_Anderson
http://www.enpsychopedia.org/index.php/Liane_Leedom
I'm grateful not to feel a need for revenge. I believe the hell that he lives in is revenge enough. He is seen among his family as being ill, but no one will talk to him about it....they just shake their heads and he is seen among his acquaintances as a child in a man's body. He however, believes he is special. One of his quotes to me: "My sister and my daughters worship me!" Yikes! So he remains pitiful in the eyes of all who know him and he doesn't even know it. LOL
I took the opportunity also to express my anger to him over and over for my great financial losses based on his pathological lies and the lie that he is. Although I believe it had no impact on him whatsoever, having no conscience...it most certainly helped me!!!
This is really, really interesting Laura! I can't believe I pulled it off and didn't even know about it until now. It's from the book "Malignant Self Love..." Trying to push my "N" away because he was becoming more and more and more psychologically abusive because I wouldn't return to him. I took, at first a defensive position and then, realizing I was feeding his "NS", I reverted to the offensive and sent him emails, he could not respond to (no way of contacting me) filled with my anger and disgust for his pathological lying and always indicating I had all our communication in black and white and would expose his lies. It worked...he ran far, far away. Here's the discussion of how to deal with the abuse from them.
"Narcissists often use verbal and psychological abuse and violence against those closest to them. Some of them move from abstract aggression (the emotion leading to violence and permeating it) to the physically concrete sphere of violence.
Many narcissists are also paranoid and vindictive. They aim to punish (by tormenting) and destroy the source of their frustration and pain.
There are only two ways of coping with vindictive narcissists:
1. To Frighten Them
Narcissists live in a state of constant rage, repressed aggression, envy and hatred. They firmly believe that everyone is like them. As a result, they are paranoid, suspicious, scared and erratic. Frightening the narcissist is a powerful behavior modification tool. If sufficiently deterred – the narcissist promptly disengages, gives up everything he was fighting for and sometimes make amends.
To act effectively, one has to identify the vulnerabilities and susceptibilities of the narcissist and strike repeated, escalating blows at them – until the narcissist lets go and vanishes.
Example:
If a narcissist is hiding a personal fact – one should use this to threaten him. One should drop cryptic hints that there are mysterious witnesses to the events and recently revealed evidence. The narcissist has a very vivid imagination. Let his paranoia do the rest.
The narcissist may have been involved in tax evasion, in malpractice, in child abuse, in infidelity – there are so many possibilities, which offer a rich vein of attack. If done cleverly, noncommittally, gradually, in an escalating manner – the narcissist crumbles, disengages and disappears and lowers his profile thoroughly in the hope of avoiding hurt and pain.
Most narcissists have been known to disown and abandon a whole PNS (pathological narcissistic space) in response to a well-focused campaign by their victims. Thus, a narcissist may leave town, change a job, desert a field of professional interest, avoid friends and acquaintances – only to secure relief from the unrelenting pressure exerted on him by his victims.
I repeat: most of the drama takes place in the paranoid mind of the narcissist. His imagination runs amok. He finds himself snarled by horrifying scenarios, pursued by the vilest "certainties". The narcissist is his own worst persecutor and prosecutor.
You don't have to do much except utter a vague reference, make an ominous allusion, delineate a possible turn of events. The narcissist will do the rest for you. He is like a little child in the dark, generating the very monsters that paralyze him with fear."
There is an addendum to this that advises not to do anything illegal and to be careful for your well being.
You may or may not wish to post this. It is more for you to read unless you think it's valuable.
There is something you can count on in this massive confusion and emotional torture. If you "scare him away"...as I did, he will never contact you again. You will never face the tug on the noose he used to have around your neck when he would ignore you and then call you to attempt to drag you back into his circus performance. I scared my "N" away so effectively I no longer need to hide behinds walls, phone blocks, email blocks and the like. I have reclaimed my life and my "N" had no choice in the matter. Cowardice is huge component of an "N's" false person and I became such a fierce opponent that the last person on earth he ever wants to connect with again is me. I was relentless in reminding him of his pathological lies and what cost his victims (me being one) pay knowing him, with the added suggestion that such cause and effect should be resolved in the courts.
Life has returned to peace. My mind and eyes are front and forward to my future. The troll is gone. I am confident I will never again have to face it. YES! Scaring him works!
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